Wife. Mom. Acoustic Neuroma Warrior.

I am strong. I am patient. I am loved.

Namaste: The light in me believes and honors the light in you.

Everything you need, your courage, strength, compassion and love; everything you need is already within you.

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Those are my often repeated yoga mantras. I remind myself of these facts while I am working through yoga classes. Sometimes I feel like I’m lying to myself. Sometimes I truly believe them. Either way, they are my motivation.

I am strong.

Dude. I just had BRAIN SURGERY. If I can’t believe I’m strong, then I don’t know what will prove it. My body is a gift for which I have great gratitude. It endured a 7 hour surgery and 3 weeks later was able to get it’s booty to yoga class. Each day of the week, only taking a break for Sunday. Is that not incredible? It is, in case you were wondering.

I am patient.

This mantra is the hardest to convince myself of it’s truth. While I realize my body is amazing, I have to have great patience with a few things: headaches and…balance. Balance is incredibly important when doing yoga, and if you don’t have much balance, your patience is grimly tested. I have had to talk to my instructors about my recovery because there are some poses I just can’t do and need alternative options to use during those poses. The other day my instructor had some pity on me, knowing balance is difficult, and came and stepped on my planted foot during tree pose. It helped me feel more successful and helped me realize: I (can be) patient. I will get to the point where I can hold poses even better than I could before surgery-since my balance nerve has been affected for at least 5 years.

I am loved.

I have felt an immense amount of love surrounding me and being sent my way throughout my journey, and continue to feel that love as I heal. I am overwhelmed at the amount of people who have shown their love through service, checking up on me, and praying for me. I have a husband who is my rock. He helps so much and doesn’t complain when I ask him…at 4am…to get me ibuprofen and an ice pack. I have 2 of the sweetest kids who love me and are patient with me when I’m not feeling 100%.  I am overwhelmed at the amount of love I have felt from heaven. My Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, who have completely blessed me and whose love I have felt in my heart and encircling me all day, every day. I know I have some cheerleaders up there watching over me, as well. How blessed I am to have so many angels watching over me. I am absolutely, incredible, immensely loved.

I am working hard to believe in myself and in my mantras.

Today, I went to the same yoga class that required teacher assistance during tree pose and guess what? I tree posed it by MYSELF. It took all of my efforts to not cry out of happiness. My feet were still shaky, but they were planted. I chanted my mantras to myself as I stood there, grateful for this body. This amazing, blessed body. I was even able to participate in a few downward facing dog poses, which, up until now, have been excruciatingly painful and cause almost an immediate headache. Upon feeling that headache creeping in, I did resort to some alternative poses because I know that I need to listen to my body. But the journey of yoga has been so rewarding.

 

1 Comment
  1. Neva says

    You are amazing. Love you! Thanks so much for sharing your story and day to day efforts, such an inspiration! Big mega hugzzz!

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